Thoughts Sans Boundaries

Weary weekend

Posted in life, musings by Aditya Moorthy on July 8, 2007

It’s been an tiring and emotionally draining weekend for me. I don’t want to get into the details but the process of going through such emotions gives you the ability (or rather opportunity) to put life in perspective and make assessment of various aspects of the life. This is a chance where you can take a pen and paper and list things in order to find out what the issues are and how you can deal with it. It is easier said than done as I am currently going through it, I can imagine how hard it is to objectively put everything down including one’s own deficiencies and face it with total humility. It is very hard to the point that it becomes impossible. The mind is completely blocked with the issues that you can think no further. It is like getting caught in a quagmire and you have negative energy left to fight it. The more you fight, you seem to go deeper into the quagmire. The sinking feeling makes you worse as it seems that even though you are doing everything humanly possible, the very same effort seems to sink you more.

But having said that, the solution is not to get weary. I am writing this being still in the quagmire and I can assure you that I haven’t still implemented any of the things that I am writing about. I am hoping that writing this down at least gives me an opportunity to keep the manual in front of me and reflect and hopefully get out of the quagmire. The helplessness in dealing with issues with life is because we get confused when we face a situation that stands like a mountain in front of us and we have a small chisel to bore a hole through the mountain and get across the obstacle. Rationality tells you that you are never going to make it with that chisel in hand. On the other hand, the problem is none other than oneself. The mountain is an obstable that you create in your mind and give it shape and size. We somehow deep inside want the problem to be big and face with the helpless situation. I can’t explain why, but I have great confidence that this is true. If I am wrong, you tell me.

Now when we recognise that the problem is our own mind, then it should be easy, since you can simply snap out of that mode and put the problem outside of you and have a different perspective to it. The moment you do that, you realise that the mountain is no longer a mountain but a small pebble that you can easily kick it out of your way. The difficult part of it is taking the problem out of you and putting it in front and treat it as a different entity, separate from you, and you are an observer. Great minds will be able to do it easily, but most of us are not. I am for sure not but I strive to be there. I must reiterate here that the problems that I am talking about here are more mental rather than problems created by the environment. Things like a flood or an earthquake cannot be solved like this although this process can play a small role in addressing such issues as well. I have been fortunate to have met and known people who have the capability to view their problems dispassionately with no emotions or baggage attached to it. I am like that in most cases, but being human, I am confounded with certain issues whereby my ability to view it dispassionately fails badly. This is such an occasion.

I am going to work on it and I am sure I will figure out a way.

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